The Essence of a Hidden Immigrant…

Posted by Jamie and Alissa on May 14, 2025 in Blog | 2 comments

Hi there, my name is Isabella. I am a 19-year old American, born in California, but raised in Madagascar on the mission field, where my family has been serving for the past 15 years. I am so grateful to be apart of the CSALT crew in Jeffreys Bay, South Africa and stoked to see how the Lord continues to work in each of our lives throughout the remaining half of the program.

I recently completed the college application process, applying to both a University in California and Oregon. Each had one thing in common, they were a complete and utter act of faith. Towards the end of 2024, as I tried to envision this next year’s harvest, it was difficult to imagine any crop sown. I had little understanding and a lack of vision to grasp for the upcoming year of 2025. I was merely making the most of the space the Lord had placed me in during that season, while simultaneously resting this year’s plans at His feet.

The reason I bring to light the completion of my college applications is that I was challenged with a difficult prompt that depicts the essence of my nature in Christ. As I write this, I feel a tug on my heart to share it with you all. This is yet another leap of faith that the Lord is placing on my heart in this moment.

The Essence of a Hidden Immigrant

It is enticing how a question as simple as “Where are you from?” can spark the most confusing and elaborate conversations. Amid casual small talk, inquiring about an individual’s background, ethnicity, home country, and culture, seems perfectly reasonable. Typically, people have one straightforward answer, one soil they call their own. Yet, I have never felt comfortable answering this question. I find myself constantly tuning my response in my head. “I am American, born in California, raised in Madagascar, but I studied in Kenya and am currently in a constant state of moving between all three countries.” Somehow my answer always ends in, “its complicated”, as I gesture to imply that I have no definitive answer.

I sense a wave of confusion mingled with curiosity from the conversant. They immediately drop all normal forms of small talk and inquire about the reasoning behind this unusual lifestyle. “Why Madagascar?” “Can you speak Madagascan?” “Is it anything like the movie?” I often catch myself feeling overwhelmed by the expected response and revert to a more simple reply, highlighting my US passport, and occasionally, my Malagasy residency. At this moment I immediately cringe at my half-truth— a dimmed response that fails to genuinely address the root of the question: Where do you come from? What soil do you call home?

As our conversation continues, I gradually withdraw my interest as I grow increasingly uncomfortable in my own skin. Eventually, I interrupt, redirecting the flow of conversation to their personal life, inquiring about their origin, background, and lifestyle—with full knowledge of my intentions to shift the center of attention away from myself and onto anything else worthy of conversation.

In these uncomfortable moments and awkward silences, I am even more perplexed by the Lord and His never-ending grace. His grace for me in my dishonesty as well as His grace for others in their perked curiosity, all too often revealing itself more investigatory than profound.

What I have learned from these interactions, this fractured identity, is that the Lord weaves certain people into our lives with specific purposes. Some to break down our walls, to sit in the silence and confusion of our thoughts, and to share the weight of our secrets. While other, more peckish relationships, fine-tune our identities, prompting us to understand better the root of our brokenness.

Belonging isn’t just a desire; it’s a survival instinct woven into our very being. I am a living kaleidoscope, an effortlessly camouflaged chameleon, a hidden immigrant. I morph into my environment, veiling myself until I no longer stand out. Camouflage is described as a defense mechanism or tactic that organisms use to disguise their appearance, usually to blend in with their surroundings. In the same way, I often find myself fading into the shadows of whatever culture I am currently abiding in, adopting the languages, mannerisms, and even personalities of others. The confusion that surrounded my identity throughout my childhood was profound and an aspect of my life that I long aimed to control, or better yet, understand. What I have managed to uncover as I have transitioned into adulthood is that there is an art to shape-shifting— adapt too slowly, and you stand out; change too often, and you forget who you are.

My childhood was marked by this desire to belong, by the immigrant status I felt in my own country. It fueled a broken identity and an inherent need to survive. While camouflaging served as an ideal coping mechanism for the majority of my upbringing, as I transferred into adulthood, I became increasingly aware of the malady of a broken identity that had crept into my life. The last two years of my adolescence have been fueled by both spiritual and personal growth. While I am still in a continuous state of shifting from one culture to the next, I no longer feel the need to camouflage into my surroundings. I have unveiled the foundations of my cross-cultural identity through my relationship with Jesus Christ. As my eyes were further drawn to the presence of the unhealthy habits I had woven into my life, my heart began to love and accept the person I am in Christ as well as the experiences that have sculpted the essence of my humanity. My faith has awakened me, restoring not only who I am as a follower of Christ but also the pillars that define my individuality: an artist, a conservationist, a leader, a servant heart, a potter, an adventurous spirit, and, foremost, a missionary kid.

In a world that constantly shifts and reshapes who we are, true identity is not found in a place or culture but in the unshakable truth of Jesus Christ. In Him, we are not lost, but found; not broken, but restored; not wandering, but called by name. His love has defined me, His grace refined me, and His purpose secured me. Just as clay is formed in a potter’s hands, the Lord has shaped, wedged, and molded the walls of my identity. This transformative journey of discovering myself in Christ has unearthed a life that cannot be stolen, a worth that cannot be dimmed, and a hope that cannot falter.

It is a well-known fact that recovery is essential after turmoil. To say that 2024 was a year of turmoil would be an understatement. Not only was it the year that marked my graduation from Rift Valley Academy, a Christian boarding school based in Kijabe, Kenya, but it was also a season of immense loss, grief, confusion, and exhaustion… From fatal sicknesses, vicious mudslides, and the loss of a home, community, and sense of stability, 2024 felt like a mountain too steep to climb. While my transition out of Africa and into the Western world left inherent trauma wounds, I found peace of mind by immediately immersing myself into a new sense of normal— one that bandaged my wounds rather than heal them.

Post graduation I moved back to my US-based hometown in California, where I spent the remaining months of 2024. Despite being in a gap year, I began this time off with a mixture of academics, work, business launching, navigating social networks, and very little time dedicated to rest. In truth, I was restless, completely and utterly burnt out. I entered my gap year with the intention to travel, grow, and establish a foundation for the next season of my life. While I did create a semblance of a solid foundation in California, it was not the pillars that the Lord intended to secure into my life. Not only do I now see the unsteadiness of those pillars, but the Lord has strategically cemented the ones He intended for me here in Jeffrey’s Bay, South Africa.

These new pillars provide a foundation for much more than just a community of fellow Christian surfers; they symbolize hope for my own future overseas. Growing up on the mission field in Madagascar instilled in me a strong desire to serve others through missions. Likewise, I feel called to serve the Lord in some capacity during this year of rest and recuperation. CSALT has been an answer to that prayer. Since moving to Jeffrey’s Bay, many people have asked me why I chose to participate in CSALT. Each time, I find myself perplexed by my answer: “God called me by name, so I dropped everything and followed”.

I stepped foot into Jeffrey’s Bay blindly, unsure of what to expect from the CSALT program or the Christian Surfers community. Yet, over these last two months, the Lord has filled me with a divine amount of peace and purpose. Peace in His plan for me here in Jefferey’s Bay and purpose for the years ahead. The CSALT program, community, and environment of Jeffrey’s Bay have been a breath of fresh air. My lungs feel as though they have been filled with sweet air, my heart satiated with love, and my spirit lifted.

Having been posed the question, “Why did you come to CSALT?” on numerous accounts, I began to ask the Lord for further insight. I had an idea of why he brought me here, an illustration of the ways He was going to work in my life through spiritual growth, rich fellowship, and leadership development. However, what I have come to realize is that God has placed me here for one specific reason: healing. He has intricately woven a safe space, a peaceful refuge, for transformative healing to manifest throughout my heart, body, mind, and soul. The Lord called me to Jefferey’s Bay not simply to enrich my relationship with Him, but to invite me to sit in His stillness, to bask in the magnificence of His grace and healing hand.

CSALT is a gathering place for fellow surfers and followers of Christ to worship, deepen their relationship with Him, and enhance their spiritual journeys. The program offers advanced leadership training—empowering students to serve and lead within unreached communities; theological studies—deepening students’ knowledge of the Bible, Christianity, and ministry; and epic surf missions along the South African coastline. On a personal note, CSALT has laid the groundwork for spiritual and personal development to unravel.

CSALT serves as a profound source of knowledge, nurturing its students with the fullness of the Lord’s love, divine wisdom, and purpose. Over the past three months, I have gained a deeper understanding of Christ, His love, and scripture than I ever thought possible. Having seen how far I have come in such a short amount of time, my heart’s desire is to continue to fuel the flame He has ignited within me. To continue to learn, grow, and be formed by Christ. Although my understanding of the future is uncertain, my faith— and thus my life— remains firmly rooted in the Lord. I have no specific plans, no straight path, only a constant Shepherd to guide my steps. So while I may be lost in many ways, I know I am found in my Creator and that He has planted me in Jeffery’s Bay, South Africa, this spring.

A wise mentor recently spoke into my life highlighting the topic of spiritual gifts and how they unite us in faith and fellowship. I have long been aware of the gift the Lord has given me of leadership. He has highlighted it in my life, embedding the traits of a natural leader in my experiences, and illustrating how He can use this gift for His Kingdom. CSALT Academy offers me a chance to grow in leadership, embrace it to its full potential, and share the love of Christ across South Africa.

These past three months have symbolized the Lord’s hand at work in my life— an opportunity to display the gifts He has ordained within me. CSALT not only serves as a safe space for spiritual and personal growth to unfold, but it also presents opportunities to apply the skills we have accumulated in the lecture room and implement them within the local community of Jeffrey’s Bay.

Each Monday the CSALT house hosts a communal dinner, opening our doors to the Jeffrey’s Bay community and inviting people from all walks of life to enjoy a night of fellowship. Here, we open our homes, lives, and hearts to a multicultural array of individuals. We provide a delicious meal, practice teamwork, leadership, and hospitality, and form deep connections with others.

At our local surf church, Wave Point Foundation, we are presented with the opportunity to further develop our leadership skills through walking alongside local groms here in Jeffrey’s Bay. We are privileged to witness many of these kids significantly improve their quality of life through their passions for surfing, their desire for an education, and their love for Christ. Together, we aim to alleviate some of the negative effects that arise as a result of growing up amidst impoverished systems. Wave Point Foundation provides a chance for each CSALT student to dive into their leadership skills and invest in the lives of the next generation as they teach, coach, and love the local kids.

The Jeffrey’s Bay recycling project aims to alleviate poverty through conservation efforts directly linked to the local environment. Impoverished communities tend to be marked by the effects of pollution, climate change, and mismanaged waste control. By volunteering at the recycling project, we are able to further invest in the livelihoods of children of these communities. We guide them as they walk through the steps of the recycling project and bring home everyday essentials, as well as gifts and toys back to their families.

In addition to these, as members of the Christian community here in Jeffrey’s Bay, the CSALT students and I are blessed with unique chances to share our faith journeys, walk alongside others in fellowship, and deepen our relationship with Christ.