Wisdom in Birth
My midwifery courses are nearly all complete, my internship is wrapping up in the Philippines, and most of my “required numbers” are fulfilled. In less than a month, Lord willing, my formal midwifery education will be complete and all that will remain will be studying for and sitting for my midwifery board exams in mid-August. It’s at this point that I have total mixed emotions. Am I excited to be done with school? Absolutely!! Especially considering this is my 4th college degree over a span of 18 years. Am I nervous and scared? Absolutely– even more so than I am excited!! Birth is life, but it can also be death. Birth has the ability to bring overwhelming shear joy and likewise total and utter grief. Do I feel prepared, ready, fully educated, confident? NO.
In this time, I’ve done much praying, talking with God, sharing my burden and my fears, my insecurities, my lack of confidence. When a woman comes into the birth center in labor, I find myself praying for her and her baby… that their bodies would work well together. For a safe passage. For peace. For life. I pray for the midwives and myself… for mental clarity, wisdom beyond ourselves, for peace. I often pray out loud at sometime during the birth. The moms welcome this and like it. I love it. For me as a student and intern, there have been some uncertain times…. breech deliveries, shoulder dystocia’s, decreasing fetal heart rates. In these moments, I pray. I ask for wisdom.
Two weeks ago, I read in Proverbs about wisdom. I’ve gone back to this passage nearly daily. Now I’m not a Biblical scholar but I do know that Proverbs 2 was not written about birth… however it is written about wisdom from the Lord…. and this is what I need in every birth.
Proverbs 2: 1-8
My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.
I have found great peace and comfort in this passage. After all, the Lord is the One who has created both the mother and her baby. He is the One who brings the baby to enter the world at just the perfect time. He is Wisdom, He is Knowledge, He is Understanding, He is the Protector, He is the Victor, He is PEACE. He is the One whom I need to unceasingly draw on and call out to both in birth and in life.